Monday, October 6, 2008
Loosing My Religion
Religion: Faith, belief, creed, conviction:
Last friday, I had an overdose of Brufen and something else from the chemist downstairs in my office, deliberately,
I had a tight day at work, and I had to be well, when i stopped by, Phillip, the chemist, said
"hey, long time, how are you," and i replied
"I have been well, until today"
I had not slept well, a horrible toothache kept me up.
Whatever he gave me, i took, in doubles, and the day sailed smoothly on.
Friday night i had a toothache from hell, I went from praying to cursing,and then a lot of cursing, nothing worked.
My daughter and nanny were away that night, and the pain felt worse, so i took off to the nearest chemist at midnight.
I got that famous "touch and go", but even with lots of touching, the pain did not go.
Every 15 minutes or so I had to be up standing, pacing around the house, then down every few minutes.
Until 8.00am that morning, I was loosing my religion.
For 11 hrs, I talked to God, non stop, he has the power to make this pain go, or even a little relief,I thought.
If my daughter was in as much pain, I would do whatever it takes to make that pain go, even if it meant finding a doctor in the middle of the night to take that tooth off.
That's what real parents do.
This morning, Robert my old friend, Suggested I read "Mere Christianity, By C.S Lewis."
You see, It's not just about the toothache, but about life, about pain, about caring, about parenting, about love...
Questions about who Ihave known as God now torture my mind....
Am I loosing my religion?