Thursday, November 19, 2009

Of Tea pots and old maids

I turned 30 this year, I didn’t know whether to celebrate it or just take it as another feather in my (wisdom) cap. I didn’t throw a party, actually never had a party on my birthday after my 21st, when my first love Musya threw me the most amazing surprise party ever, with Black forest cake and family and all- back then it was a big thing, I wasn’t expecting it, and he always treated me extra special, so I knew he would buy me a gift or so, but that party is probably the only birthday of mine that I will never forget.

Its 9 years later, and one would think I should be quite at ease with that. I have no worries talking about my age, and I love doing the guess game, and darn if you if you say anything older than 25:-)

I have never been 30 years old before:-). And I am not the kind of person that plans much. I prefer some of my issues handled by experts, so they do the planning. My future finances are in order, I have policies that will take care of my child’s education, I have a life cover, a savings scheme and I am told however much I don’t like to look at my account after payday after those cuts, that one day when I am a bit older, I will be a relaxed human being with little worries about mine and my daughters future.

So I am whining?

Yes, because despite the fact that several things in my life have taken quite an overwhelming direction, which I profusely thanks God for, I still wonder when I transitioned from girl to lady and then sometimes woman. I’m I quickly crossing over the threshold of youth? Have I achieved all that I would have wanted to achieve by this age? Did I even know what I would have wanted to achieve by this age?

I recently noticed that my skin products are not working anymore; I always used Neutrogena for oily skin, now it dries me up, and I am told that happens when you hit 30. I didn’t mind moving over to Normal skin, and it works just fine, but I don’t want to read in between the lines. Pun Intended.

The other day my daughter asked me if I have a boyfriend, I answered the question, and she asked if I was going to get married. I laughed and said, yes, I hope to. You see a couple of friends have got married recently, and she sees their pictures, and we talk about them, and my two cents worth is that she wants to see me in a white (not!) gown.period.

So what does the number 30 mean for me? In many ways it is a celebration. It’s been the toughest year in my life. I have cried myself to sleep several nights, but I have woken up a stronger woman in the morning. I have learned to be independent, but even more loving than I thought I ever would be.

30 has been the best for me in many ways. I have made invaluable friends; I have fallen in and out of love and gotten my heart broken and I have learned to find the beauty and beast within.

I still search and long for many things…however content I may seem sometimes, I have began to like my tea, black.

Tea pots and old maids have began my latest fixation.