Tuesday, July 23, 2013


My daughter, Imani, has been spending her holidays with her grandmother and cousins. The school break is rather long so it was only fair that she takes a break from me and her nanny to spend time with her relatives.

So the house, is too quiet, too cold, and too adult.

I call her ever so often to hear how she's keeping, but this morning she broke my heart.

I asked her about when she wants to come back home, and in her sweet voice, she says' I want to come back when you will have more time to spend with me at home" she went on to say " when are you taking leave? will they let you come home early in the evenings?'

She spends weekdays with me and most weekends (Sunday) with her dad, so we have Saturday to be together, and that's hardly anything. Is there another way to strike a balance?

After we ended the conversation I sat in my car and re-played it, over and over again.

I am a working mum, a single one at that, like many other women out there, but due to my working hours, I am hardly home in time for dinner. I have late mornings and manage to do the school drive,( a pretty short drive at that) but increasingly,I hear the words 'when you have time' more and more from my 7 year old girl.

I'd want to be home to make dinner every night (and she loves my food, especially helping me prepare it) i'd love to do Bicycle rides with her, have movie nights, or go out for weekly dinner like we used to when I had an 8-5 job.

Right now, I feel guilty, and a little confused because I love my job and wouldn't really want to quit, but for the first time in years, I am between the proverbial rock and hard place.

Is it really worth it?

Any mother's out there going through the same?

What would you do?


  1. I hear you! The dilemma of choosing between your career and your child is one that most moms face. So much so that moms have requested a chat with fellow moms and experts including one Parenting and managing a home for the busy mom! Here are the details. http://on.fb.me/1bgK58D Meanwhile, I'm sharing your dilemma on our forum for ideas by other single moms, then I'll share the same with you. It will be ok. It always is :)

  2. You're doing the best you can with your work hours, and there is immense value in things like the morning commute, and sharing errands like cooking.

    Gave you the answer on BBM :)

  3. You aint alone Terry,I share the same too, with such words like " mum, now that I have closed school, when are you closing your job too so that we may spend more time together?" It normally breaks me a lot.

  4. I hear you too! I have struggled with juggling the parenting life and a demanding job with frequent travel, working to ensure that my little girl has all she needs but it has become increasingly important for me to spend more time with her especially as she goes into her teenage years.

    Action: I thought long and hard and as much as I love my current job, I have made a bold step to change jobs to a smaller organisation which I believe will have less demands on my time. Let's see how that works out....